The next morning I woke up early. I’d had trouble sleeping all night. I couldn’t keep my mind off of Taylor. I didn’t understand how he could be such a sweet guy one minute and seem like such a monster the next.

Then I started to blame myself for what had happened. I knew there really was no justification for him hitting me, but I still blamed myself. I never should have gone shopping with Zac. I knew Taylor felt threatened by my growing friendship with his brother.

I quickly took a shower, got dressed, and tried my best to cover up the bruise on my cheek. I sighed as I ran my hand over the sore spot. Deep down I kept telling myself I should just forget about the whole thing and leave Taylor, but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, so I quickly went to the door and opened it while hoping that it wasn’t any of my friends. Luckily it was just Zac.

“Hey,” he said. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” I nodded as I opened the door the rest of the way to give him space to come inside.

“I just wanted to come by and check on you,” Zac said as we walked into the living room. “Are you okay?” Zac asked as he sat on the couch.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I sighed as I sat down on the recliner. “How’s Taylor?”

“Right now he’s busy kicking himself in the ass,” Zac replied. “He feels really awful about what happened last night.”

I nodded my head. “That makes two of us,” I commented.

“So, what are you going to do?” Zac asked.

“What do you mean?” I replied.

“Well, Taylor’s convinced you’re going to leave him,” Zac said. “Are you?”

I took a deep breath. “No,” I said. “I’m not going to leave him, but I will if he doesn’t get some help with his anger.”

“Eden, honestly, I have never seen Taylor act that way before,” Zac commented. “I can’t believe he hit you.”

“I can’t either,” I said.

“I was right about what I said last night, wasn’t I?” Zac asked. “He hit you before, didn’t he?”

“Yeah,” I nodded shamefully.

“Oh, God,” Zac sighed. “I don’t know what is wrong with him. What in the world made him think there was something going on between us?”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “But I shouldn’t have gone out with you last night. I knew that Taylor was… jealous that I was spending time with you.”

“I don’t know why he was jealous,” Zac commented. “We’re just friends. I’d never do anything to betray him. He’s my brother – my best friend.”

“I know that,” I nodded. “I think maybe he just didn’t trust me.”

“Why wouldn’t he trust you?” Zac asked. “You’re his wife. You guys love each other.”

“We’ve been doing some arguing lately,” I confessed.

“Eden, he’s really sorry for what he did,” Zac said. “I think you should talk to him.”

“I will,” I nodded. “Zac, you’re not going to tell anyone about what happened, are you?”

“Nah,” Zac said shaking his head. “It’s yours and Taylor’s problem. You two need to work it out. It isn’t anyone else’s business,” he replied as he stood up.

“Thanks,” I said.

“No problem,” Zac shrugged. “I’ve gotta go now, so I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay,” I nodded.

As soon as Zac was gone, I picked up the phone and dialed Taylor’s cell number. It rang a couple of times before he finally answered.

“’Lo?” Taylor said groggily.

“Taylor?” I said. “It’s Eden.”

“Oh, Ede,” Taylor said, suddenly sounding much more awake. “How are you? Are you okay? I’m so sorry about last night.”

“I’m fine, Taylor,” I replied. “I think we need to talk.”

“Yeah,” Taylor agreed.

“Um, how about we meet somewhere for lunch?” I suggested.

“Okay,” Taylor said. “Where do you want to meet?”

“How about the little diner downtown?” I asked. “The one we went to after my doctor’s appointment that one day?”

“Okay,” Taylor agreed. “When do you want to meet?”

“Half an hour?” I asked.

“Okay, I’ll be there,” Taylor said.

I quietly hung up the phone and took a deep breath. If I was going to stick with this marriage, Taylor and I were going to have to sort out a few things. The first thing would be the issue of his anger problem. The second thing was I needed to know how he really felt about me.

I arrived at the diner before Taylor, and I found a quiet booth near the back. I nervously waited for Taylor to arrive. I wanted to talk about our situation, yet I didn’t.

I didn’t want to talk about it because I wanted to know how Taylor felt about me, and I was afraid of what his answer might be. I was starting to have feelings for him, and if he didn’t feel the same, I didn’t want to feel rejected.

This whole situation had become so much more complicated than it was ever supposed to be. All that was supposed to happen was Taylor and I were going to stay married until the baby was a few months old then file for divorce, but over the time that we had been together, we had been through so much.

Finally Taylor arrived, and quietly sat down across from me.

“Hey,” he whispered.

“Hi,” I replied.

He stared at my cheek. “God, I can’t believe I did that to you,” he commented. “God, I hate myself. I’m such an asshole. This is the second time I’ve done this to you. What is wrong with me?”

“Taylor, I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I want you to get help,” I said calmly. “I want you to see a therapist or something because this can never happen again. It never should have happened in the first place.”

“I know,” Taylor nodded. “You’re right. As soon as we get home, I’ll call a doctor.”

“Okay,” I nodded.

I was very glad he agreed so quickly. That part had been pretty easy, but the next part wasn’t going to be.

“I need to ask you something,” I began.

“Okay,” Taylor nodded. “Ask away.”

“I need for you to be perfectly honest with me,” I continued.

“Of course,” Taylor nodded.

“How do you really feel about me?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” Taylor asked uncertainly.

“That day in the kitchen when you were started to ask me a question, what were you going to ask me?” I asked.

Taylor thought for a moment.

“I was going to ask you if you thought that we could ever be together – like for real,” Taylor answered.

“Do you think we could ever be together like that?” I asked. “Do you think we could ever really love each other?”

“I – I’m not sure,” Taylor replied. “Sometimes I think we can be. Why are you asking me?”

“Because, Taylor, I need to know how you really feel about me,” I said. “I’m starting to have feelings for you, but I don’t want to let myself feel that way about you if you’re not going to feel the same way.”

“And what way do you feel about me?” Taylor asked.

“Well, up until you slapped last night, I was starting to fall for you,” I confessed.

“You mean you’re falling in love with me?” Taylor asked.

I nodded my head and buried my face in my hands. Why was I putting myself through this? I didn’t know why I would think Taylor would love me. I had been nothing but a bitch to him from the start. Hell, I must have been crazy anyway. He slapped me the night before, and here I was – the next – confessing I was falling in love with him.

“I thought you had feelings for Zac,” Taylor commented.

“Taylor, I do not have feelings for your brother,” I said looking up at him. “Now will you just tell me how you feel about me before I die of embarrassment?”

“Eden, honestly, I don’t know how I feel about you,” Taylor replied. “I like you a lot, but I don’t know if I love you. I’ve never loved somebody before, so I don’t know what it feels like. I do know that whenever I’m away from you, I think about you. I worry about whether or not you and the baby are doing okay. I wonder if I make you happy. And last night I was driving myself crazy wondering if you were going to leave me. The thought of you not being part of my life scared me to death. If that’s what if feels like to love someone, then, yes, I love you, Eden.”

“You really feel that way about me?” I asked uncertainly.

“Yes,” Taylor nodded.