Chapter 40

Julie was glad when the last bell rang, signaling that school was over for the day. She gathered her things and followed her classmates out of the classroom and into the crowded hallway. She made her way to her locker and unlocked it before grabbing her bag and shoving her books inside.

She slung her bag over her shoulder before grabbing her purse and shutting her locker and turning to look around for Jessica. Instead she spotted Zac headed toward her and smiled softly.

"Hey," he said. "I have to work tonight, so I was just coming to tell you bye," he explained.

"Yeah, I remembered," Julie smiled. "How late are you working?"

"Ten," Zac sighed.

Julie made a face and shrugged. "Well, I'll see you when you get home then, I guess."

"Yeah, want to start my homework for me?" he joked.

"Depends on what homework you have."

"Economics," Zac rolled his eyes.

"Ew, no thanks," Julie replied, making a face.

"Oh, so if I would have said something like ... math - you might have actually done it for me?" Zac grinned.

"Perhaps," Julie smiled as Jessica and Neil approached them.

"You ready to go?" Julie asked Jessica.

"Actually, Neil's going to drive me," Jessica smiled.

"Oh, okay," Julie replied, glancing at Zac who was staring at Neil and giving him a look as if to say 'you touch her and you die.' Neil fiend ignorance and turned his head and looked over his shoulder and waved to some friends who were passing by.

"Well, I'll see you at home then," Julie smiled.

"Okay, we're going to go for ice-cream first," Jessica replied. "Want to come with us?"

"No, but thanks," Julie smiled. "I think I'm going to go home and take a nap."

"Okay, well, we'll see you in a little bit," Jessica said, taking Neil's hand.

"Have fun at work, Zac," Neil grinned, breaking his silence as he and Jessica started to walk away.

"I'm really beginning to not like that guy," Zac muttered as he watched his sister and best friend disappear down the hallway.

"Only because he's dating your sister," Julie said, knowingly. "Besides, I seriously doubt Neil is going to do anything stupid with her. He knows you'll kick his ass, and after the last couple of fights you've been in, I doubt he'd want to be on the receiving end of your fist," she pointed out.

"Fair enough," Zac nodded. "Well, I better go. Don't want to be late."

"Okay, I'll see you," Julie smiled and Zac leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips before heading down the hallway.

Julie turned and started walking the other way. Whenever Zac had to work, he liked to park in the teacher's parking lot. He knew that no one ever checked and it was easier to get out of than the student parking lot. Julie thought he was just being lazy, but she never said much. She figured it was his idea of his last high school rebellion.

When Julie reached the parking lot, she was happy to see that the mass of cars was thinning out. But then again Julie knew that most of the students liked to flee from the premises as soon as the bell rang. She even imagined some of them yelling "freedom" as soon as they were out the door.

She saw Jessica and Neil talking with some of Neil's friends and waved when Jessica saw her crossing the parking lot to her car. She unlocked the doors and threw her bag in the backseat and tossed her purse in the passenger's seat before she climbed into the driver's seat. She started the car up and fastened her seatbelt before she looked around to make sure the coast was clear before she backed out of the parking space.

She turned up the radio as she drove and bit her lip thoughtfully. It felt a little odd driving home alone. She was used to hearing Jessica's mindless banter on the way home, but she really didn't mind the silence. After all, she was an only child, so she was used to being alone.

Or at least she had been. That is until she moved in with the Hansons. They had become her family and sometimes she forgot that they weren't her real family, but none of that really mattered to Julie. She had become so comfortable living in their home, and knowing that it was okay for her to be herself - good or bad - when she was around them made her feel like she really was a member of the family.

She had remembered hearing people say that "blood is thicker than water," but to her it wasn't blood that made a family - it was love.

Julie started off toward home, but instead of making the turn to go home, she went straight. At first she didn't know exactly where she was going, yet on some subconscious level, she was fully aware of where she was headed.

As she drove, she reached over and grabbed her purse. She managed to get it unzipped, but she decided to wait until she came to a stoplight to find what she was looking for. Luckily, the next light she came upon turned red just as she reached it, so Julie took the opportunity to dig around in her purse until she found the tiny scrap of paper she was looking for.

She let her eyes sweep over the address scrawled on it in her small, yet neat handwriting and memorized it quickly while trying to figure out where Tanglewood Drive was. She was almost certain it was in the same neighborhood Lexi lived in, but she had only visited Lexi's house a few times because she felt uncomfortable around Lexi's parents. They were both nice enough, but Julie always got the feeling that they thought she wasn't good enough to be Lexi's friend because she had gotten pregnant. She was sure they had just written her off as some dumb teenager who led a promiscuous lifestyle.

Julie jumped when the car behind her honked its horn. She looked up and realized that the light had changed and pressed down on the gas. At the next light she turned right and headed toward Lexi's neighborhood, and once she reached it, she drove around slowly, paying close attention to the street signs as she went.

The first time she went to Lexi's house she had gotten lost in the maze of streets in her bustling and prospering neighborhood. That was how she had happened upon Tanglewood Drive once before. Oddly enough, now that she as actually looking for it, it wasn't nearly as easy to find.

After driving around in the neighborhood for about ten minutes, she finally found the street and turned onto it. She slowly drove down the street looking for the address 1276. When she passed by 1270, she pushed on the break and felt her heart begin to pound as she reached the two-story blue house with the numbers 1276 on the front of the house. Though the house couldn't have been very old, the outside held a sort of old style charm. It was cute and cozy looking and the only thing missing was the white picket fence.

Julie pulled into the driveway and turned the car off. She grabbed her purse and threw her keys inside before she got out of the car. Her heart was racing as she walked up the walkway to the front door. She stared at the dark mahogany wood for a moment, trying to compose herself before she rung the doorbell.

As soon as she heard the bell chime within the house, Julie felt a knot form in her chest, and it seemed as if she had just come to her senses and realized the insanity of what she was doing. She took a step back just as the front door opened, and she stopped in her trackers and felt like a deer caught in headlights as she stared at the lovely face of Laura Henderson.

"Julie?" Laura asked with surprise evident in her voice but with concern written upon her face.

"I - I should have called first, but I ..." Julie stammered, fighting to find her voice.

"No, no," Laura smiled, motioning for Julie to come into the house. Julie slowly stepped forward and through the archway as she tried to muster a smile. "Is everything alright?" she asked, noting the beginnings of dark circles under Julie's now dulled hazel eyes.

"Yeah ... I was just out driving and ... I just sort of wound up here," Julie explained. "I'm sorry for not calling first. If this is a bad time, I can go."

"No, it's fine. You're always welcome here," Laura reassured her as she led Julie down the hallway and into the living room. She offered her a seat and asked if she'd like a drink. Julie accepted and Laura went into the kitchen. She returned moments later with two steaming cups of hot cocoa.

Julie accepted her mug with a smile and took a small sip, relishing in the warmth the sweet drink brought to her chilled body. She wasn't sure when she had grew so cold. The weather had been rather mild through the winter, but coming from California, her body wasn't quite used to the new chilled weather.

"Did you have any trouble finding the house?" Laura asked as she sipped on her own drink.

"No, not really," Julie replied as she sat her drink down on the coaster on the coffee table. "I have a friend that lives in the neighborhood. I passed the street a few times before."

"Oh," Laura nodded with a small smile as Julie looked around.

"You have a really nice house," Julie commented.

"Thank you," Laura replied. "We've lived her for about seven years. We moved here back when there weren't many houses in the neighborhood."

"It seems like a really nice neighborhood," Julie commented as she bit her lip uncertainly. She couldn't believe that she was actually seated in the Henderson's living room. She had no idea what to say or do now that she was there, and it seemed that Laura was a little uncertain as well.

Julie looked around again, wondering where Liam was. She wanted to ask, but she had no idea what to call him. She was sure if she asked where Liam was, Laura would probably guess who she was talking about, but she knew that he wasn't Liam to them, and she didn't want to make the situation anymore awkward than it already was.

Laura seemed to be having her own mental debate as she watched Julie carefully. When she found the girl on her front porch, she had to admit that she was a little stunned to see her. It wasn't that she hadn't expected Julie to never come around. She was just taken aback by the girl's tired appearance. It was evident to Laura that Julie was still struggling.

"How's school going?" Laura asked curiously.

Julie's head snapped back toward Laura and she shrugged visibly. "It's alright."

"I never cared much for school myself," Laura commented. "It's a wonder I ever graduated. Seems a little ironic that I would end up marrying a teacher," she laughed lightly.

Julie smiled a little. She remembered Tom Henderson mentioning that he was an elementary teacher, but she didn't recall what age group. She also remembered that Laura was a real estate agent, but she guessed that she had taken the time off of work to adjust to motherhood.

Julie watched Laura and noticed how happy she looked. She was a lovely woman in her mid-thirties with short dark hair and vibrant blue eyes. She was thin and petite. She looked a little tired, but Julie knew it was probably from midnight feedings and diaper changes. It was a happy sort of tired.

"Is your husband at work?" Julie wondered aloud.

Laura nodded and smiled. "He's normally home by now but he had to meet with some parents today," she explained, and Julie only nodded in acknowledgement. "Would you like to see the baby?"

Laura could tell that Julie was itching to ask but couldn't seem to work up the nerve, so Laura decided to take the plunge and ask.

"You don't mind?" Julie asked.

"Of course not," Laura replied as if it were the most ridiculous question ever asked.

"I'd love to see him," Julie smiled.

"Okay, come on," Laura said as she stood, motioning for Julie to do the same. "He's taking his afternoon nap, but he should be waking up soon."

"Okay," Julie nodded as she stood and followed Laura back down the hallway and up a set of stairs. They walked down the hallway past what appeared to be the master bedroom and a guestroom and into a beautiful deep green nursery adorn with images of baby animals. A baby bed stood in front of the window and a wicker rocking chair was seated on one side along with a changing table and a dresser sat on the other side.

Julie smiled at the beauty of the room. It might not have been the decor she might have chosen, but it was seemingly perfect. She followed Laura into the room and cautiously walked toward the crib, making sure not to make any noise. She peered over the side and her breath caught in her throat. Nestled in the center of the crib, tucked safely under the warmth of a plush green blanket lay her baby. She could tell his hair was going to be dark even though it was still quite thin. His rosy cheeks were a contrast to his otherwise pale skin, and the tip of his little thumb was tucked into the corner of his mouth, and she could see that he was sucking lightly at it.

Julie felt tears well up as she smiled down at him. It was hard for her to believe that he was even real. He was the absolute picture of perfection as far as Julie could see. He was a wonderful little miracle, and it was hard for her to believe that he had come from inside her.

She reached out slowly and touched his tiny hand as a tear slid down her cheek. "He's perfect," she whispered as Laura stepped up behind her.

"He is," she agreed. "Would you like to hold him?"

"Really? I don't want to wake him," Julie replied as she wiped at her face to dry her tears.

"It's about time for him to wake up anyway," Laura replied as she stepped up to the cradle and slowly picked up the sleeping baby. "Would you like to sit in the rocker?" she asked Julie who could only nod.

She walked over to the rocking chair and sat down before Laura placed him in her arms. Julie was careful to support his neck and held him close to keep him warm at his eyes peaked open just a bit to reveal a hint of blue.

Julie opened her mouth to speak, but her voice seemed to catch in her throat, so she cleared it quietly before trying again. "What did you name him?" she asked Laura.

"Matthew," Laura smiled. "After Tom. Matthew's his middle name."

Julie smiled and nodded. "I like Matthew," she decided. "It suits him."

Laura smiled as she watched Julie rock him quietly. "His middle name is Liam," she commented after a moment.

Julie's head shot up and she looked shocked. "That was what I ..." she began and Laura nodded that she already knew. "But how?" Julie questioned.

"The nurse at the hospital mentioned that you told her you would have named him Liam," she smiled. "Tom and I hadn't decided on a middle name yet, and Liam seemed to fit."

Julie bit her lip as she tried unsuccessfully to fight back tears. "Thank you," she whispered.

"No, thank you," Laura replied with a soft smile. "I know that doesn't even begin to say how much we appreciate you choosing us, but there aren't enough words in the world. I don't know how we could ever repay you."

"Just take good care of him and love him," Julie replied. "Make sure he grows up knowing that he's loved and perfect just the way he is."

Laura nodded. "We can do that."

Julie swallowed the lump in her throat and let go all of attempts to hold back her tears. Instead she let them fall freely as she rocked her sleeping son.

Once Matthew finally woke up, Laura suggested that they go downstairs so that she could fix him a bottle, and Julie agreed. Laura let her carry him downstairs and Julie sat down in the living room and held Matthew as Laura prepared his bottle.

When she returned to the living room, she helped Julie put a bib on him and handed her the bottle before she sat down beside her. Julie felt elated at Laura's willingness to let her help with the baby. She thanked her again as she fed Matthew his bottle, and Laura only smiled.

Once the bottle was empty, Julie carefully lifted Matthew and placed him against her chest with his head against her shoulder. She patted him lightly on the back, remembering what Isabel had showed her once while she was helping her friend babysit for her younger siblings.

"Julie?" Laura said softly, drawing Julie's attention.

"Yeah?" she replied, noticing the serious look on Laura's face. She immediately grew worried that either she had done something wrong or Laura was going to ask her to leave.

"Tom and I talked abut this before we brought Matt home, but we didn't want to mention it to you unless you came to us, but we'd love for you to be involved in Matt's life," Laura began. "Clearly, we wanted that when we agreed to an open adoption, but we don't mean just the occasional letter or visit. You're welcome here any time you like. We know this must be difficult for you, and we would never keep Matt from you, and we think it would be great if he grew up knowing you."

"Really? You mean it?" Julie asked in disbelief. She had been so worried that she had already overstepped her boundaries by showing up without notice.

"Of course, if that's what you want," Laura replied. "Matt is just as much your son as he is ours."

"It is," Julie smiled tearfully. She cleared her throat and looked to Laura. "Can I tell you something?" she asked.

"Anything," Laura smiled.

"Before today I kept having these second thoughts, wondering if maybe I'd made the wrong decision about giving him up," she confessed as she patted Matt lightly on the back. "I was so scared that I had made a terrible mistake."

"And now?" Laura questioned.

Julie swallowed the lump in her throat and sighed as she looked down at Matt, who let out a loud burp. Julie and Laura both laughed at the interruption. "That's a good boy," Julie cooed with a laugh before she looked back at Laura. "Now ... well, now I know that my baby is right where he belongs. He's home."

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