The following Monday after meeting Zac and the rest of the Hanson family, save for Isaac, I had just left classes and was headed back to class, prepared to take a nice long nap while I waited for Shalee and/or Danny to show up, so that we could go out for lunch, when I heard my phone beep, which meant I had a new voice mail. I had turned my phone on silent during class, and apparently I had missed a call.
I pulled my phone out of my purse and checked my voice mail. It was Paul.
“Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better,” he sang. I rolled my eyes. The reference to The Beatles song was an ongoing joke with Paul. He seemed to find it amusing to sing lines from Hey Jude to me whenever we talked. He cleared his throat and spoke this time. “Well, it’s me, Paul. I just thought I’d give you a call and see what’s up. I worked the midnight shift last night and got off at eight this morning and I have yet to get any sleep,” he chuckled. “Insane, I know. Anyway, you’re probably in class or still in bed, but give me a call when you have a chance. I miss you.”
I smiled softly to myself. Sometimes it felt nice to be told I was missed. I had talked to him briefly the week before. He was headed out the door at the time though, so we didn’t have much of a chance to talk, but hearing from him twice since school started after speaking less than half a dozen times over the summer kind of made my heart swell with hope. Maybe it was possible for us to work things out and try the dating thing again. I hadn’t broached the subject with him though. I wanted to wait and see if we could get our friendship back on track before we started anything more serious than that.
I quickly dialed his number, but it just rang about a dozen times. When the answering machine didn’t pick up, I hung up and sighed to myself. I figured he had probably crashed not long after he called me. I decided that I would try calling again later, and with that thought in mind, I headed to the dorms to try to catch that nap I was hoping for.
The night before I hadn’t got much sleep at all. First because Shalee and I stayed up late talking about random junk, and then after we decided to go to bed, my sleep was disrupted by my reoccurring dream. It was when I got up the next morning and was getting ready for class that I realized I hadn’t taken my medicine. I wanted to slap myself for being so careless, but I was too tired to bother.
However, when I got to the dorms, I was surprised to find Zac lounging on my bed. Shalee’s CD player was on and I thought it was playing 3 Doors Down, but I was more interested in the fact that Zac was stretched across my bed, reading one of Shalee’s magazine.
I silently thanked the Lord above that I had made my bed and cleaned up my dirty clothes before I’d left that morning. I certainly was not used to having guys in my bedroom, so I made a note to myself that I would have to be extra careful about that. Danny had already got more than an eyeful of my dirty laundry, which included my undergarments. That was embarrassing to say the least. However, he was kind enough not to say anything to embarrass me about it.
Zac seemed quite enthralled with whatever he was reading in Cosmo. I almost hated to interrupt him. I took the opportunity to study him. He was good looking like Taylor, but in a more manly way. Taylor was what I considered a pretty guy. Zac was handsome. His hair was short and spiked. I had remembered it as being blonde when he was younger, but it appeared to have darkened up quite a bit over the years.
He was tall, but I didn’t think he was quite as tall as Taylor, and he wasn’t nearly as lean as his brother, but he wasn’t fat by any means. In fact he seemed to be at just the right build for his height and weight. He was wearing a red shirt that said in read, “Got this at a thrift store.” I had to bite back a laugh. At least he wasn’t a high maintenance celebrity.
His legs were crossed at the ankles and he was tapping his green chucks in time with the music that was playing from Shalee’s CD player. His lips were pursed and his eyebrows were knit as he read. I let my eyes linger on his lips for a moment longer. I couldn’t deny that he had nice lips. I imagined that if he had a kissing booth, he’d have a line a thousand miles long with girls waiting to pay for a smooch. And I couldn’t deny that I might have been one of those girls.
I shook my head, erasing the thought immediately. I barely knew him, and I wasn’t some rabid fangirl. I hadn’t even heard any of his music since Mmmbop. However, I couldn’t deny that he was good looking.
Finally I decided to end my stare of admiration and let my presence be known. “Looking for make-up tips?” I inquired, raising an eyebrow.
Zac sat up and threw the magazine down. “No,” he replied, rolling his eyes. “But I did read an interesting article on 101 Sex Tips,” he smirked.
“Ah, I see. Learn anything new?” I asked.
“Oh, well, the pleasure seemed to be aimed at the guy, and since Kate is a girl, this isn’t going to do me much good,” Zac laughed. “However, I wouldn’t mind if she read some of those things …”
“Oh god, I don’t need to know that,” I shrieked, growing embarrassed. “I hardly know you. I don’t need to know about your sex life.”
“Well, there’s not a lot to know about anyway,” he shrugged.
I didn’t even bother to ask. The last thing I wanted was to talk about sex with someone I hadn’t known a week, so I decided to shift the conversation to something more neutral. “So, what are you doing here?” I asked curiously.
“Well, I came to see Shal, but she had class,” Zac sighed. “She told me I could hang out here until she got back though,” he added. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“No, it’s cool,” I shrugged as I finally sat my bag down. I looked around the room, feeling a little uncomfortable. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Zac. In fact I liked him very much. He seemed like a cool guy, but I didn’t know him that well. When I had hung out with him before, Shalee had been there, and she was so good at dominating the flow of a conversation, so there really wasn’t much time or reason to feel uncomfortable. Without her though, I wasn’t exactly sure what to say or do.
“So, are you done with your classes for the day?” Zac asked.
“Yep,” I nodded as I pulled out the chair as my desk and sat down.
“Cool. I think Shalee and I are going to go out for lunch when she gets back. Maybe Danny too. I’m not sure,” Zac commented. “You should come with us.”
“Really? You don’t want to … be alone or whatever?” I asked uncertainly.
A smile slowly spread across Zac’s face and he looked at me like I was stupid. “No,” he replied. “Why would we want to be alone?”
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “I mean, sometimes best friends just want to be alone and hang out … I didn’t mean like … alone alone …”
Zac laughed. “I should hope not,” he commented. “That would be like banging my sister, which is gross.”
“Well, yeah …” I replied.
“Okay, that whole conversation turned wrong really fast,” Zac commented. “But seriously, you should come with us when we go out for lunch.”
“Okay, sure,” I nodded.
“Cool,” Zac smiled. “And while we’re talking about food, my mom told me to invite you, Shalee, and Danny over to dinner this weekend.”
“Really? That’s really nice of her, but I can’t,” I frowned.
“One dinner at the Hansons and we already scared you away?” Zac smiled.
“No, it’s not that. I’d love to come, but I’m going home this weekend,” I explained. “My dad’s birthday is Monday, and we’re celebrating this weekend.”
“Oh, I see,” Zac nodded.
“Yeah, otherwise, I’d come,” I replied. “Tell your mom I said thanks and I’m sorry I couldn’t make it, okay?”
“Sure, next time though?” he smiled.
“Definitely,” I nodded. “Shalee was right. Your mom is a great cook.”
“That she is,” Zac agreed. There was a brief moment of silence before Zac spoke again. “I think you have an IM,” he commented, nodding toward the computer behind me.
I spun around on my chair. I had my away message up, but apparently Drea had been sending me instant messages. I unchecked the Hide Windows option and began to read her messages.
x lust tomybrain:
: hey judy ju ju
Auto response from xx underwater: @ class until 11
© jude
x lust tomybrain: eww class
x lust tomybrain: that sucks
x lust tomybrain: i'm glad i'm not you
x lust tomybrain: so anyway, i'm sitting here at home. bored out of my effin' mind.
x lust tomybrain: there's nothing to do online. and you know you're pathetic when you're IMing someone who's not there
x lust tomybrain: so yeah .... i suck. pity me okay?
x lust tomybrain: i was going to download some music, but i think i've downloaded everything known to man ... all that's left is country music. i'm not that desperate yet
x lust tomybrain: anyway, hope class doesn't suck too bad. i'm going to go look for some lunch.
x lust tomybrain: IM me when you get back. i wanna hear about your day. i'm sure it's more interesting than mine.
I couldn’t help but laugh at her antics, and I heard Zac get off the bed and moment later he was standing behind me, looking over my shoulder. “Who is that?” he asked, sounding amused.
“My cousin, Drea,” I replied. “She’s insane.”
“Tell her to download Hanson,” he said.
I glanced up at him over my shoulder and laughed. “You want me to tell her to download your music?” I asked. “That would be wrong.”
“Well, she’s already breaking the law,” Zac shrugged. “Who knows? You might make a fan out of her.”
“I doubt it,” I replied. “She’s too busy lusting after Bert McCracken from The Used.”
Zac cringed. “The greasy, dirty looking guy?” he questioned.
“Zac, you just described every guy on Warped Tour,” I laughed.
“Well, still … isn’t that a bit of a … turn off?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I replied. “I suppose it might be if you were up close and he smelled bad. I’ve never actually had any encounter like that, so I can’t say for sure …”
“You’re weird,” Zac laughed.
“What? And you’re normal?” I countered.
“Well, probably not,” he shrugged. “So, what kind of music do you listen to?” he asked.
I shrugged. “All kinds,” I replied.
“Well, that was helpful,” he commented.
I rolled my eyes. “Well, I like The Used too. Coheed and Cambria. I saw them live over the summer. That was cool,” I commented. “I like Rilo Kiley and Tegan and Sara …”
I knew the list could go on and on, so I decided to just stop there. I hid the instant message window, vowing to get back to Drea on some good music to download later.
“My brother’s really into Coheed and Cambria,” Zac commented. “He just bought their new cd.”
“Really? Which brother?” I asked as he sat down on the edge of the desk.
“Oh, Taylor,” Zac laughed. “I guess it would help if I specified which one, huh?”
“Yeah, especially since you have so many,” I laughed.
“My parents like kids. What can I say?” he shrugged as he glanced down at the notebook he kept bumping into. He cocked his head to the side and studied it for a moment. My eyes followed his and realized what he was looking at. It was the sketchbook I used for my designs for clothing. I cringed inwardly while scolding myself for leaving it out in the open as I had. “What’s this?” he asked.
“Oh … it’s just some sketches I made,” I replied, grabbing the notebook and holding it to my chest.
Zac looked a little taken aback by my actions before saying apologetically. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop.”
“It’s okay … I just … they’re not finished yet,” I blushed.
“Oh,” he nodded. “So, you design clothes?”
I nodded.
“That’s cool,” he smiled. “I design some of the t-shirts for the band,” he commented. “Nothing quite as elaborate as what I just saw, but it gets the job done,” he said.
I smiled and suddenly felt silly for hiding my sketches from him. My mom had always told me not to be shy about what I made. Usually I wasn’t. In high school half of the clothes I wore were things I’d designed. Drea usually dug through my closet and borrowed some of them as well. My freshman year a couple of senior girls even asked me to design prom dresses for them. I even got paid well when I agreed.
My sophomore year I designed five dresses. Junior year I designed my own dress as well as Drea’s along with ten others. I can safely say that that was a busy year for me. Senior year I only designed mine and Drea’s dresses for prom. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to wear mine. I frowned, thinking of the beautiful white dress I had slaved away for months making. It was hanging in the back of my closet at home now, never worn. It seemed like such a shame now.
I shook my head, clearing my thoughts and took a deep breath before looking up to meet Zac’s eyes. “Did you want to look at them?” I asked, biting my lip nervously.
“If you don’t mind,” he replied. “I mean, I understand if you don’t want to show them until their finished …”
“No, it’s okay,” I smiled, handing him the sketchbook.
He studied the page for a moment before he turned to the next page. I watched his facial expression just to see if I could sense what he thought. Sometimes when I’d try testing out something new and showed Emmy my sketches, she would always tell me they were great, but I could tell from the faces she made when she first saw them whether or not it was true. Drea was always upfront about her opinions, which I was grateful for, because it usually saved me from starting to put something together and turned out to be total crap.
When Zac reached the last sketch in the book, he looked up and smiled. “You’re really good,” he said. “I’d love to see how they turn out when you’re actually finished making them.”
“Really? You don’t think they’re lame?” I asked. When I was younger, I mostly stuck to making skirts and dresses, but over the summer I had tried designing a few t-shirts. I’d tested out the iron-on method, but those seemed to fade away too quickly after a few washes, but it was good to see what it would look like.
Fleur was nice enough to let me go down to her studio to use her press to screen the t-shirts once I finally perfected the designs though. I only made one of each shirt though, but I had been designing more t-shirts since. I usually I just did rough sketches for those in my sketchbook before I actually drew the real thing in Illustrator on the computer.
“No, they’re not lame at all,” Zac smiled. “You’re really good. We should hire you to make the shirts for our next tour. The last time Ike designed one of the shirts, it consisted of some lame ass collage of pictures that you couldn’t really see.”
“Well, I bet people still bought them though,” I commented.
“This is true,” Zac nodded. “Gotta love fans.”
“Shalee says they’re insane.”
“Well, let’s just say … they’re not like any other fans out there,” Zac grinned.
“So I hear,” I smiled as Zac handed my sketchbook back to me. He stood up and stretched and walked around the room. I sat there silently, once again unsure of what to say.
Finally Zac turned and looked at me. “Ya know, if you need to do something, don’t let me keep you from it,” he said. “I can just nose through Shal’s stuff. She won’t care.”
I smiled. “Thanks,” I replied. “I do have some stuff I need to read if you don’t mind.”
“Go for it,” he shrugged. “You don’t have to keep me entertained.”
“Okay,” I nodded. I dug through my bag and pulled out my physical science book and walked over and sat down on my bed. I flipped through the pages until I found where I had left off on reading.
I tried to concentrate, but I could hear Zac moving around on Shalee’s side of the room. I glanced up and he was looking through her CDs. Once he found one he seemed to like, he turned off the current one that was playing and put in the new CD and pressed play.
He glanced over at me once the music started to play, and I quickly looked away. I knew he was going to think I was staring at him. Though I actually was, it wasn’t for the reasons he probably thought. I felt my cheeks grow warm as I tried to concentrate on reading. I felt so stupid. I always felt stupid around guys. Paul was the only guy who I was friends with in school, and probably the only guy other than Harris and my dad who had ever seen me at complete ease. Now days though, I wasn’t sure I was ever really completely relaxed around anyone.
I glanced up over my book after a couple of minutes and caught Zac looking at me. But he didn’t look away as I had. To be completely honest, it made me feel a little uncomfortable, but I knew it was just my nerves. Zac started to open his mouth to say something, but as he did so, the door opened and Shalee came into the room with Danny close behind.
After Shalee ranted about how boring her Survey of Art and Culture class was for a good ten minutes, we all decided to go out for some lunch. I threw my book down on my bed and grabbed my purse as I followed Shalee and Danny out of the room with Zac bringing up the rear.