The following Friday afternoon after classes ended, I came back to the dorm and packed up my things to take home for the weekend. Emmy had agreed to come and pick me up after the meeting she had in downtown Tulsa. I couldn’t help but feel a little anxious to go home for the weekend.

I’d grown used to the dorms, but it still wasn’t home. I missed sleeping in my new comfortable sleigh bed. I missed falling asleep with my cats curled up at the end of my bed, keeping my feet warm. Lily had been Emmy’s cat, and she was the oldest. Mom got her for Emmy when she twelve. She was a beautiful white and tan ragamuffin. She was the sweetest cat I had ever met. Emmy loved her to pieces. She always said she was her first baby, but when Emmy moved out to go to college, she decided to leave Lily at home with us because she couldn’t have pets in the apartment she was sharing with Harris, and also because Lily was so old, she didn’t want to shock her too much with such a big change.

After Emmy left, Lily basically became my cat because I fed her and took care of her. Besides Lily, we had three other cats, Minnie, Malfoy, and Pansy. My mom loved cats. When I was young, she always told me that when she was growing up, they always had a new litter of kittens every few months. Her parents usually gave away the kittens though, so when I was young and started asking for a new kitten every few years, my mom couldn’t resist. Yet another one of the benefits of being the baby.

Minnie was the first cat my mom gave me. She was a spotted tabby cat with green eyes. She was my present for my eleventh birthday. Minnie was actually short for Minerva, which came from Professor McGonagall’s name in the Harry Potter books. I’d just read the first Harry Potter book months before, and it was my new obsession.

When I turned twelve, I got Malfoy. He was fat and grey with green eyes. He ran around the house for three days without a name before I finally decided on Malfoy. Drea had actually been the one to suggest it. Malfoy was also a character in the Harry Potter books. My Malfoy was snarky and mean just like the one in the book. He also liked to bite and claw at people when they walked by. Drea said that the only thing missing was the classic Draco Malfoy smirk, and so he was named.

Pansy was the newest pet. I had just gotten her over the summer as a gift from Fleur and dad. She was a pure white Persian cat. When I saw her for the first time, Pansy was the first name that popped into my head. She had an open pansy-like face and bright blue eyes. It also couldn’t hurt that there was character in the Harry Potter books with the name Pansy. I had become something of a joke after I got Draco because all of the cats had names from Harry Potter, even Lily, but that was completely unintentional.

Pansy was gentle and sweet and liked to spend her days lazing away on my lap. Lily and Minnie seemed to think that they were both her mom though, and for the first month after I got her, they fought with each other before apparently coming to some sort of truce.

I had felt bad almost every day since I’d left for college because in my rush to leave, I had forgotten to say goodbye to my pets. I hoped they wouldn’t be too angry with me. When I had called home, Fleur had assured me that she was taking care of them and they were doing just fine thought, so that made me feel a tad less guilty.

Shalee came back to the dorms while I was waiting for Emmy to show up, but she and Danny were going over to the Hansons to hang out with Zac, so she was only there long enough to say hello and goodbye. About half an hour later Emmy called and told me that she was on her way though.

When she finally arrived, she insisted on coming up to check out my room. Just because she wanted to snoop around, I made her carry my heaviest bag down to the car. I couldn’t help but feel anxious as we drove to her house though. Dad or Fleur was supposed to drive to Emmy’s that evening to pick me up, and I was ready to go home for the weekend. I wanted to see Drea and my pets. I couldn’t help but hope that maybe if I was lucky, I’d get to see Paul as well.

Emmy gabbed on and on during the drive to her house about color swatches. After awhile I had to completely block her out or I thought I might end up slapping her. By the time we got to her house, I was relieved to go inside and hang out with Lula and Tibby while Emmy took a shower and started to unwind from her busy workday.

I found it completely insane how much traveling Emmy did over the course of the week. She usually drove to Roland a couple times a week, and the other days she usually had some kind of meeting Tulsa. I couldn’t imagine spending two hours of my day driving from place to place for meetings with clients. Sometimes I wondered why she even lived in Muskogee. It would have made a lot more sense to me for her to either move to Roland or Tulsa and base herself in one general area instead, but I knew she stayed in Muskogee because of Harris.

While Emmy was in the shower, Harris came home. Immediately the girls ran to him to give him hugs and kisses. He laughed and swung them around once before sitting them on the ground. “Hey Jude,” he smiled. “How’s it going?”

“Pretty good,” I replied as I watched Harris shrug off his zip up hoodie. Underneath he wore a tank fitted tank top, but my eyes were immediately drawn to his right arm. “Did you get a new tatt?” I asked.

“Yep,” he grinned as he walked over to me so I could get a closer look. The new tattoo was of barbwire going around his bicep and there were three keys dangling down and on each key there was a name inscribed – Emmy, Tallulah, and Tabitha.

“That’s awesome, Harris,” I smiled. “What did Em think of it?”

He shrugged. “Well, she wasn’t exactly thrilled by the idea of a new tattoo, but I think since is had her and kids names on it, she’s okay with it.”

“Well, I think it’s sweet,” I smiled. “Who did it?”

“Tommy,” Harris replied.

“Oh, did he finally get to move up from just being an apprentice?” I questioned.

“Yeah, we figured the old boy was ready for the real thing,” Harris chuckled as he kicked off his shoes and picked them up. He walked down the hallway toward his and Emmy’s bedroom and I turned back to the girls, who had sat back down on the floor and were interested in Dora the Explorer, which was playing on TV.

A little while later Emmy and Harris came back into the living room, and Emmy announced that she was going to order a pizza. I wasn’t surprised by the news. Emmy was never a particularly good cook. Harris was pretty decent and seemed to do most of the cooking throughout the week, but Friday nights were usually pizza night. That was something I guessed Emmy had taken from our parents.

While we were waiting for the pizza to arrive, I heard a car pull up in the driveway. I jumped up and looked out the front window, expecting to see dad or Fleur, but it was neither of them. Instead I recognized Drea’s blue Pontiac Sunfire in the driveway. A moment later she climbed out of the car, and I squealed as I ran through the living room and to the front door. I pulled the door open and ran down the walkway and all but pounced on her.

“Drea!” I cried. “What are you doing here?”

“Coming to get you, silly,” she grinned. “Fleur stopped by the salon today and said she was coming to get you, and I offered to do it for her.”

“Oh, so you’re working at the salon again, huh?” I smirked. “What happened to Old Navy?”

Drea rolled her eyes. “My manager was a complete bitch. I took all I could of her before I gave her a piece of my mind and walked out,” she replied.

I sighed and shook my head. “Oh, Dre, what am I going to do with you?”

“Pity me because my life sucks?” Dream replied.

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, right,” I replied. “Anyway, Emmy ordered pizza. It should be here soon,” I said as we headed up the walkway and back into the house.

We stuck around to eat before we decided to head for home. It was already getting dark out and it wasn’t even six o’clock, and we had to drive an hour to get back to Roland, so after saying goodbye to Emmy, Harris, and the girls we got into Drea’s car and she sped down the highway to get us back to Roland.

Drea complained about work and how boring her life was without me there to bug, and then I told her about Shalee, Danny, Zac, and Taylor. She nearly flipped out and lost control of the car when I told her who Zac and Taylor were.

“That is so effin’ awesome,” Drea said. “You got to hang out with famous people.”

“Drea, it’s Hanson,” I laughed.

“Even so, it’s probably about one of the most exciting occurrences of your life. How can you be so nonchalant about it?” she asked.

I shook my head and looked at Drea in confusion. “Who are you and what have you done with my cousin? The Drea I know would think that hanging out with members of Hanson was lame,” I said.

“You just don’t know me as well as you think,” Drea shrugged. “Besides, I do think it’s really cool that you met someone famous and hung out with them.”

“Well, I hadn’t really thought about them as being famous,” I shrugged. “I mean, they’re just … normal people.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Drea sighed. “I’m just so bored in Roland that I’m excited about trivial things these days.”

“You know, you could probably apply and get into TU next semester,” I commented.

“Jude, you know that I’m not the college type,” she said.

“No, I don’t know that. Besides, you never know until you try it,” I said. “You might like it.”

“I seriously doubt it,” Drea replied. I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. The one thing about Drea that ever really got on my nerves was her negativity. It was mostly aimed at herself, and half the time I wanted to just shake some sense into her. I knew it was useless though. She was far too stubborn for her own good.

Traffic was surprisingly light for a Friday night, and we made it back to Roland in no time. Unfortunately, they were doing road construction on the road that led to my house, so Drea had to take the alternate route, which happened to pass through my old neighborhood.

I stared out the window and Drea drove down the quiet street. I had always liked the neighborhood. Everyone was so nice. I knew all of the neighbors. After all, I’d grown up on that block. We passed by the corner where I used to wait for the bus. I always hated riding the bus, but mom usually made me ride it a few mornings a week when she was busy.

After we passed the corner, I looked around at all of the houses I had grown up around. All of the leaves on the trees had changed colors. I could tell just from the glow of the headlights. I knew Mrs. White would be out raking her leaves before long, and the Anderson children would more than likely come along and pounce on her freshly raked piles of leaves. Afterwards, they’d help Mrs. White rake up the leaves all over again. She was the kindest lady on the block. When I was little and got sick, she used to take care of me while mom was at work. She always made me cookies to help me feel better.

I hadn’t seen her in months though. I had notion to go visit her over the weekend, but I knew I probably wouldn’t follow through. After passing Mrs. White’s house, my old house came into view. I stared out the window of the car at the two-story brick house I had grown up in. I hadn’t been inside it in six months, and it had been empty close to four months. The hedge around the house had grown quite a bit and the yard was overgrown and covered with leaves.

I glanced up to the second level and immediately focused on my old bedroom window and felt my heart beginning to race with fear.

“Don’t move,” I hear in the darkness. My heart is racing. I start to scream for help, but suddenly there are hands around my throat - not choking me, but if they were squeezing a little bit tighter, I knew I wouldn’t be able to breathe.

“Don’t even think about screaming.” The voice is deep. I know it’s man, but I could already tell that from his hands. They’re huge. I briefly think that he could probably snap my neck in one motion, and the thought terrifies me. I have no idea what’s going on.

I can feel him shift above me, and the light from the hallway filters over his shoulder. I can see the shadow of his face as my eyes finally start to adjust to the darkness, and I can see more of his features. His eyes are gleaming with malice and he’s wearing a twisted grin. He looked pure evil. I see the vein in his neck pulsing and he squeezes at my throat light, almost as if to warn me, and I start to shake with fear.

“What are people thinking, leaving a pretty little thing like you all alone in the house,” he whispers as he inches toward me. I clench my eyes shut as dread builds up in the pit of my stomach. I feel his breath against my cheek and a moment later his lips are covering mine.

I try to push him away and scream for help, but his hands are still around my throat and as soon as I try to move, he starts to squeeze. But with his hands around my throat, my arms are now free. I slap and claw at him, but my air is quickly disappearing.

I slowly feel myself growing weak. I can’t breathe. All I can feel is his mouth against mine, and his hands around my throat. I feel something wet against my cheeks and I realize that I’m crying. I gasp for air, silently begging that he’ll stop choking me, but all around me slowly starts to fade away and is covered in darkness.

“Jude! Jude, are you okay?” I heard Drea yelling and shaking me.

“What?” I asked, shaking my head. I looked around and realized she had pulled off the side of the road a couple of blocks away from my old house.

“Are you okay?” she asked, nearing hysterics. “You just … zoned out, and you weren’t answering …” she frowned. Worry was written all over her face.

“I … I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head again to clear my thoughts. “I was just thinking.”

“It was the house, wasn’t it? I shouldn’t have gone that way,” she sighed. “I’m sorry, Jude.”

“Drea, it’s okay,” I said quickly. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. “I just wasn’t thinking … I’m sorry for driving by there …”

“Drea,” I said firmly. “I’m fine. Just drive, okay?”

She sighed and nodded.

I took a deep breath and stared down at my hands, trying to collect my thoughts. My heart was still racing, and I felt so foolish. I knew I had scared Drea. I’d never seen her look so worried. I felt bad for making her feel that way.

I sunk down in my seat and chewed on my bottom lip, trying to collect my thoughts. For months I’d be dreaming the same thing over and over again, and now I was fully awake and still seeing it. At least at night I could drown out the dreams through medication, but what was I supposed to do to block it out during the day?

The rest of the ride to my house was quiet, but as we pulled into the driveway, I finally spoke up. “Drea?”

“Hmm?” she replied as she turned off the car.

“Could you … please not mention what happened to my dad or Fleur?” I asked.

“Why?” she asked. “You said it was nothing.”

“It was nothing,” I replied. “I just don’t want them to worry. You know how dad overreacts anyway …”

Drea nodded with a soft sigh. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” I answered.

She nodded and we both got out of the car. I looked up at the beautiful two-story white Victorian and smiled. In just four months the place had become home to me. Of course I was still trying to go used to the size. It was a nearly twice the size of the old twice. Dad and Fleur had been in a hurry to find a new house, and as soon as Fleur saw this one, she knew that it was the one.

Dad had been a little reluctant at first because of the price, but Fleur had insisted that it was affordable. My parents had always been relatively frugal. With my dad being an accountant, it wasn’t any surprise. But Fleur wasn’t quite as tight with the money, but she did have a quite a bit money saved back from modeling and designing, and she insisted that she and my dad could afford it.

I had a feeling that she would have bought it on her own if my dad hadn’t agreed. It really was beautiful and spacious. There were five bedrooms, three bathrooms, a den, a dining room, a huge living room, a spacious kitchen, a three-season room, and a pool in the backyard.

At first dad had said he didn’t know what to do with all of the space, but Fleur had no problem figuring that out. Her and dad had the master bedroom and I took the second largest room, which left three bedrooms to work with. Fleur decided to turn one of the rooms into an office for her to work at from home. And the other two rooms were used as guestrooms. One was decorated for Lula and Tibby when they visited, and the other one was made for adult guests.

Emmy had decorated the entire house, and no one could deny that she had done a beautiful job. My room was the only one she hadn’t fully decorated. She had picked out the beautiful sage color for the walls and a few of the other pieces of furniture, but I decided everything else.

Drea helped me carry my things up to the house, and Malfoy greeted us at the door. He purred and rubbed up against my leg. Apparently he was in one of his more friendly moods. I figured no one had been paying attention to him. I knew my dad wouldn’t because he didn’t like him, but that was only because Malfoy had clawed at his favorite chair and ruined on corner of it.

“Hey, Malfoy,” I said as I sat my bags down and picked him up and hugged him to my chest. He purred loudly and rubbed his head against my chin. “Did you miss me, baby?” I asked.

Drea snorted and rolled her eyes as she shrugged off her jacket.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing,” she shrugged. “Just continue talking to your cat.”

I stuck my tongue out at her as Malfoy jumped out of my arms and circled Drea, rubbing up against her boot clad calves.

“See he loves you too, Dre,” I smirked as I started down the hallway. “Hello?” I called. “Anyone home?”

“We’re in the den, Jude,” I heard dad yell.

I smiled and walked down the hallway to the back of the house where dad’s den was located. Dad was seated at his desk and Fleur was on her black leather chaise lounge, reading a book. She looked up as Drea and I entered the room and smiled. “Hey Jude, Drea,” she said.

“Hi,” I replied as I walked over and gave my dad a quick hug. “Whatcha doing?” I asked.

“Just finishing some work,” he replied. “How was the ride home?”

“It was fine,” I replied.

“Have you eaten?” Fleur asked as Drea sat down at the end of the chaise lounge.

“Yeah, we ate at Emmy’s,” I replied. “We had pizza.”

“That’s what we ordered,” Fleur commented.

“Well, I could always eat again if you need any help,” Drea offered.

Dad shook his head. “I don’t doubt that, Drea,” he said.

Drea shrugged as she picked at the lint on her black skirt.

“So, are you happy to be home?” dad asked.

“Of course,” I smiled. “And now I believe I have a few cats to apologize to,” I said before I headed back down the hallway to grab my bags and take them to my room, where I was sure Lily, Pansy, and Minnie were sleeping on my bed.

Sure enough that was exactly where I found my babies. I dropped my bag to the floor as Drea followed me into the room, doing the same, and walked over to the bed. I petted Lily gently so as not to wake her from her slumber. She purred affectionately in her sleep, and I smiled as I bent to kiss her on the top of the head.

“Ew, I cannot believe you are kissing a cat,” Drea commented.

“Get over it,” I replied, rolling my eyes as I sat down on the bed, kicking my shoes to the floor before I brought my legs up and sat down Indian style. I scratched Minnie behind the ears and her tail moved around as if it were electrified as she purred. Her tail always did that when she was happy. Finally I picked up Pansy and hugged her tightly before kissing her on the nose.

“Have Minnie and Lily been watching out for you?” I asked as she looked up at me with her bright blue eyes. I could see Drea rolling her eyes out of the corner of my eye, but I shrugged it off as I sat Pansy on my lap and petted her gently.

“So, what are we going to do this weekend?” Drea asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I answered. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. What do you want to do?” Drea replied.

I rolled my eyes. We always seemed to find ourselves having this conversation when we had no plans. “Do you have to work tomorrow?” I asked.

“Until noon,” Drea replied with a shrug. “Hey! You could come down to the salon and get your hair done.”

“And how should I get it done?” I asked. “It’s getting long, and it looks decent. I don’t really want to cut it.”

“We don’t have to cut it,” she replied. “I mean, not really. We could put in a few layers and dye it. Come on, it will be fun,” she pleaded.

I sighed. “Fine,” I replied with a sigh. “What time should I come in?”

“Eh, ten or so?” she shrugged. “Mom’s been dying to see you.”

“Well, she’s going to see my tomorrow night at dad’s dinner anyway, isn’t it?” I asked.

“Well, yeah,” Drea said. “Even so, she’ll still be happy to see you.”

“I’m be happy to see her too,” I smiled.

The following evening Mia and Drea, and Emmy, Harris, and the girls were all coming over for a dinner to celebrate dad’s birthday. It made me happy that Mia and dad were still friends even after mom died. Mia and Fleur got along well too, but I think it was still hard for Mia to see her sister’s husband with another woman. Mom and Mia were best friends, so I knew it was hard for her to move on even though she tried and put up a good front. I was like her that way.

As we were sitting there deciding our plans, I heard the doorbell ring. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was close to eight already. I figured it was probably the pizza dad and Fleur had ordered. It was surprised that they were eating so late though. I shrugged it off. I sat Pansy down on the bed and stood up and stretched.

“I’m thirsty,” I commented. “Want something to drink?”

“Sure,” Drea shrugged. She stood up and we both headed downstairs just as the doorbell rang again. I could already smell the pizza downstairs. I wondered if the delivery guy forgot something, but as we were descending the stairs, dad answered the door. I immediately stopped walking and Drea crashed right into me, and I almost fell down the stairs. I couldn’t believe my eyes at first, but it Paul standing there at my front door.

“Hey, Mr. Ryland,” Paul smiled.

“Hi, Paul,” dad replied. “Come in.”

Dad then turned and started to yell for me, but he saw me on the stairs and quietly walked away. I walked down the stairs with Drea right behind me as Paul stared up at me.

“Hey Jude,” he smiled.

“Hi,” I replied quietly.

“Hey Dre,” he said, nodding to Drea.

“Hey,” she replied, studying her nails.

“What are you doing here?” I asked curiously.

I couldn’t believe he was really there. It felt so odd to feel so giddy around him. I had really missed hanging out with him over the summer, and being in contact with him so much in the past month or so had really made me realize how much I cared for him.

“I called your dorm, and your roommate said you came home for the weekend,” Paul explained. I had talked to him earlier in the week and gave him the number at the dorm to call me back because my cell phone battery had been low. “I thought I’d stop by and see you,” he said.

“Hey, I’m gonna get something to drink,” Drea said, before slipping out of the room quickly. I frowned after her for a moment before turning back to Paul.

His dark hair had grown out a lot during the summer, When I’d seen him at the bowling alley, he had been wearing his hoodie with the hood up, so I hadn’t realized just how much his hair had grown, but I’d decided that I liked the shaggy look on him. His dark eyes danced with uncertainty as I stared at him. He was wearing his favorite black beanie and jeans a plain grey shirt, but instead of his standard black converses, he was wearing boots.

“I hope you don’t mind that I just dropped by,” he commented.

“No, it’s cool,” I smiled. “Come in,” I said, motioning for him to follow me into down the hall. We bypassed the kitchen and went out into the seasonal room. It was my favorite room of the house. The room was basically made out of just windows, and it was great for sitting in just to look outdoors despite the weather outside.

We sat down on the comfortable chairs by the fireplace. I curled my feet up under my body because they were cold, and Paul sat back in his seat.

“I can’t stay long,” he commented. “I have to go to work, and I don’t want to interrupt things …”

“You’re not interrupting anything,” I smiled.

“Well, Drea’s here …” he said.

“So? She likes to make herself at home anyway,” I smiled. “Besides, I don’t know why she’s being so anti-social. Probably that time of the month.”

“Maybe,” Paul shrugged. “So, how have you been?”

“Pretty good,” I replied. “How’s work?”

“It’s work. And it pays bills,” he answered. “Not much else to speak of though.”

I smiled. There were so many things I wanted to say to him. I wanted to tell him that I missed him, and I wanted us to be friends like we were before. I even wanted to tell him that I thought might be in love with him, but instead I sat there quietly, thinking of all the things I wanted to say but probably never would.

Paul was quiet for a while too before he finally said, “Well, I should probably go. I don’t want to be late for work.”

“You really have to go?” I asked, frowning.

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” he said as we both stood.

“It’s okay,” I said.

“Maybe we could do something this weekend?” he asked.

“Well, I have plans with Drea in the morning and we’re having my dad’s birthday dinner tomorrow night,” I replied. “I’m not sure about Sunday though, but I don’t think I have any plans. Maybe we could do something then?”

“Sure, I’ll call you,” he smiled.

“Okay,” I nodded. I walked him to the door, and once we were there, we said our goodbyes.

He leaned down before leaving, like he was going to kiss me though, and I felt my whole body tense. I saw a look of sorrow and maybe a bit of disappointment in his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. Instead he placed a quick kiss on my forehead before hurrying out the door.

I stood at the door and watched him drive away before I closed the door and leaned against it. I felt so stupid. I wanted to bang my head against the door, but I jumped when I heard Drea ask from behind me, “Did Paul leave?”

I stood up and turned around. I glared at her. “Yeah, what was your deal anyway?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” she asked, making a face.

“You practically ran out of the room as soon as you had a chance,” I replied. “Way to make him feel welcome.”

“I thought you’d want to be alone,” she shrugged. “I didn’t mean anything by it. Besides, he wasn’t here to see me.”

I frowned. “Did you two have a fight or something?” I asked.

“No, I haven’t talked to him lately,” she shrugged. “Anyway, I should get going. I have work in the morning.”

I sighed as I watched her pull on her jacket. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but something about her seemed different. Sure she was usually pessimistic and somewhat odd, but she was acting odd even for her. I wondered if something had happened with her and Paul while I was gone – some sort of falling out or whatever – but I thought she’d surely tell me about it.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” she commented as she grabbed her purse.

“Okay,” I nodded as I watched her leave. I frowned at the door another minute or so before Malfoy appeared and started rubbing up against my legs and meowing.

“Someone sounds hungry,” I commented as I picked him up and headed into the kitchen to feed him.